It is interesting that people have gone to weird levels to access debt in the guise of emergencies. People have ‘killed’ their kinsmen and borrowed to meet burial expenses only to be spotted doing pints with a host of friends in the evening. Others have ‘infected’ their relatives with sickness and even ‘admitted’ them to hospital just to access a debt in the name of clearing medical bills only to use the money to repair a broken down vehicle. The question of why we borrow and why we must borrow ought to be the true north of all borrowing.
It is while answering the question of why you need to borrow that you automatically encounter the question of who you borrow for. While many succeed in creation of reasons that appease lenders to advance the requested loans, what concerns me is the actual reason that they end up using the borrowed funds for. That is where the real thing is; that is where the journey towards the debt trap begins or is avoided. The wrongness or rightness of a borrowing reason lies not in what you tell the lender and the world but in what you actually do with the money; the real reason.
The real reason also informs about who you borrow for. Many people do not borrow for themselves, unfortunately; they borrow for others. Yes, they borrow for other people yet they use the money and pay for the debts themselves. In other words, they borrow money to do or purchase things which they would otherwise not have done or bought were it not for environmental influence. They do all these things to fit in society or to be seen as being relevant. Many people indeed buy things they do not need with money they do not have to please people they do not love!
All your friends have acquired the latest smart phone release and you feel left out; you imagine that you have become a laughing stock. You figure out a quick way to joining the bandwagon and debt comes to your mind; so you borrow and acquire the phone as well. You give a sigh of relief with a broad smile as they wow about your gadget the first day of purchase….May be you need to drive to the office every day since all your peers are doing it and your parking spot will be empty and will betray you. You do not wish to be left behind; that’s when the thought of that salary advance comes to mind….Maybe your friends have all moved into their own houses and the pressure on you is real yet you do not have cash to construct or buy a house to march the standards now. Suddenly you remember that you qualify for a mortgage loan.
These and many others are scenarios that happen all over and affect a host of people. Most of the people affected by bad debts have debts that they borrowed to satisfy other people’s expectations. From the examples mentioned, you are likely not to have borrowed were it not for your friends having new gadgets. You borrowed not to make yourself happy but to wow them; chances are high that if they discard their phones, you will discard yours!
The decision to drive to the office was not your own, you made it so as not to offend your peers. In other words, were it not for them driving to work daily, you would not have decided to do so yourself. The same applies to the house you bought on loan in response to your friends moving into their own houses. The problem is that when repayment time comes or when things get thick, your peers are nowhere in the picture. The untold truth in most of these cases is that the people we seek to please never remember us beyond the moment of wowing. They forget about that phone as soon as you unleash it the first time; no one remembers those things you do to please them. People have too much to handle and they do not have room to accommodate thoughts of your flashy car.
If you must borrow, do it for yourself. Do not be influenced by your surrounding; do not waste time comparing your life to that of others because we were never destined to run similar lives. Stick to your lane and run at your own pace. Use debt wisely and keep it good for bad debt is a source of stress. Warren Buffett says, if you buy things you do not need, you will soon sell things you need. Who exactly do you borrow for?….YOU CAN DO BETTER!
Roy Okonji,
Personal Development Coach, Motivational Speaker and Author.
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